This was inspired by the writing of my friend and fellow slicer, Britt, who wrote a slice about her hair. I started thinking about my own hair journey and this came to mind. Thanks for the inspiration Britt!
They tell me I should keep my hair long because boys find that attractive. They tell me I should "do" something with my hair -- blow dry, straighten, style. It's more mature, they say, it shows you care about your appearance. People will take you more seriously.
Of course, by "they" I mean my mom and by "people" I'm pretty sure she means men.
I haven't told my mom this, but I don't want ANYONE to necessarily find me attractive. I don't want a relationship like that or really one at all. Keeping my hair short is one of the safest ways I feel I can present as asexual without actually telling most people I'm asexual.
Of course, that's not the only reason I keep my hair short. I didn't even know that was part of my identity until a few years ago, my short hair actually came first. I haven't had my hair past my shoulders since college -- though looking back on it that IS when I started to question my own sexuality. College was the first time I went as a short as a pixie cut because I thought it would be fun to try. I told the hairdresser "Just cut it all off. I trust you to style it." And they did. After all, hair can grow back.
More recently, it's barely ever gotten longer than my chin and I would say right now it's probably the shortest it's ever been. It's usually my mom that suggests I grow it out, straighten it, or style it in some way. But it's not her hair, it's mine. It's so much easier now that it's short. I feel so free when I can just roll out of bed, put some frizz control or curl boost in it, and be done. 30 minutes to style became three minutes and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
I won't be growing my hair out any time soon. And as for straight hair, well...
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Yeah, I feel you on this one. Hair does not have to be someone's identity. Unfortunately, I lived that LIE for far too long. I'd much rather go to the barber than the hair stylist. Glad you have accepted yourself and your hair. Your hair is always cute when I see you...just saying!
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